dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we're making bets on your personal life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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