i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
