and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
