You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
