I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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