Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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