Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
