butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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