I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
