Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
