Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
