if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
