How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
