Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
