I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
