Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
