You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
