so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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