I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
