i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
