elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
