Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize