Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
