One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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