Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize