you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
