I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
