Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my shit smells like andre
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
