sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I need help removing her.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
