video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
