You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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