Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
