I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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