Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Randomize
