i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
