god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How does one acquire holy water?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
