Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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