this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
