if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
