yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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