You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
