She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize