I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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