After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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