You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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