The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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