so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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