I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
