Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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