he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
