Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sponge bath it is.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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