White coat. Heels.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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