eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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