There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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