I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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