Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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