Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
