You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
