I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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