We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
