Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Someone came in the potted fern
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
