So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Come on in and take your pants off
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