I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize