She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
it's like heaven, but drunker
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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