awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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