only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
