Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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