Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
